Wednesday, December 2, 2009

That's Why

Today has been one of those days. One of those days when I think to myself why don't I go back to work. At least there I will be contributing to our family's income. And well to be honest the girls won't be driving me crazy. Because all day The May has been crying inconsolably. The Lynn is only satisfied if she is on my hip or digging through the trash can. And The Belle well she has tried to "mother hen" everyone. Today was one of those days when I have cleaned up spilled food upteen million times to only turn around and clean up another mess. Today was one of those days when my sanity was worn down to the bone and I just want 5 minutes of peace and quiet.
And then as I look at my 3 precious gifts that God has given to me as they lay watching "Little Bear" on the couch in their footie pajamas I remember why I stay home with them. Because I will be the first person they see in the morning when they wake up. I will be the one who is privliged enough to fix them breakfast. I am the one who gets to hear their giggles as they tickle each other. I am the one who gets to read them countless books during the day. I am the one who gets to kiss their boo boos. I am the one who answers their questions. I am the one who gets their surprise hugs and kisses. I am the one that The Belle will tell "I love you Momma" when I least expect it. I am the one who gets to snuggle with The Lynn when she wakes up from her nap. I am the one who The May cries for when she goes to bed at night. That's why I stay home with them. Though these days are very few and far between they do happen. And those days are hard; really hard. Even as I am typing this I feel an overwhelming amount of guilt for having these very negative feelings. But, tomorrow is a new day and I will remember that I have my entire life to work but I only have a few short years with my baby girls. And that is why.

2 comments:

Special K said...

Don't you dare think like that. I would looooooooovvvvvvvvveeeee to be in your place. You made me cry just thinking about it.

Anonymous said...

wow! thanks, cinda, for the reminder of the privilege it is to stay at home with my boys. you're right, it is extremely diffucult most days. i'll be honest, i am thankful for the excuse to not have to work, b/c i dont have a "career" that i am trained for. any job i get would just be a job that helped pay the bills. but more than that, i am extremely grateful to not have to leave my babies every day and be away from them. So thank you for the reminder of what a blessing it is.